Funeral home owners understand pain associated with loss of a loved one

(Patrick Powell is a 1998 OHS graduate)

Daniel and Donna Toler understand the pain and grief associated with the loss of a loved one.

"Our oldest child passed away in 1996," Donna Toler said. "It was a devastating loss for our family."

It was Aug. 9, 1996, when 15-year-old Adam Lee Toler went on a fishing trip with his church youth group.

"He drowned," Donna Toler said. "Our home and lives were forever changed. It's normal to bury your mom and dad, but it's not normal to bury your child."

The Tolers realize that each family struggles with the loss of a loved one in a different way. They decided to move forward and turn their tragedy into a blessing for others.

"God took a horrible tragedy and made it a blessing," Donna Toler said.

On Jan. 1, 2001, the Toler family established Adam Toler Memorial Funeral Home in Oceana in memory of their son.

"If losing a child doesn't give you a heart for people's hurt, there is something wrong," she said. "We have been able to help families who were grieving."

Adam's sister, Rebekah was 13 at the time of her big brother's death.

"It was a tough time for our family," said Rebekah Toler Powell, who is now the licensed funeral director in charge at Adam Toler Memorial Funeral Home. "I think all of us here truly understand what families are going through when they come to this funeral home."

Powell, whose husband Patrick is the family services director at the funeral home, completed her one-year apprenticeship in 2005 and passed national and state board exams.

"After three years of hard work and determination, I am now the licensed funeral director here," she said.

Powell guides families through the funeral service arrangement process.

"It's can be a tough job at times, but it can also be very rewarding to help others during such an emotional time," she said. "I just really enjoy helping others and I feel like I get a chance to do that with this job."

The entire family says they love what they do at Adam Toler Memorial Funeral Home.

"I think the funeral home business is a calling, a ministry, if you will," Donna Toler said. "And we count it a privilege that God has given us the opportunity to serve others."

Some of the unique services offered by the funeral home include an audio recording of a funeral service on CD, video tributes and memories of the passed loved one on DVD, a funeral home Web site with online condolences and a guestbook, obituary e-mail updates, memorial folders with photographs and a memory portrait that is a gift from the funeral home.

"Many times there are family members and friends who are unable to attend services," Donna Toler explained. "We now offer an audio recording of the funeral service at no additional cost."

She said the "Memories By Design" is a DVD prepared at the funeral home that include photographs of a loved one's life, family and friends.

"This will be playing during the viewing, whether it be at the funeral home or at the family's church," Donna Toler said. "All you do is bring the photos in the order you want them played and we do the rest."

The funeral home has also added "A Box of Memories," which is on a desk built by Donna Toler's late father, John Ellis, who passed away three years ago.

"Many times I hear someone saying good about their loved one or friend that passed away and I would say, 'Oh, you should tell the family. That would be a blessing to them,'" Donna Toler said. "That gave me the idea of the memory box. Lots of times people have trouble saying what they feel, but they can write it down. The box is on the desk my father made in front of the lobby with cards and you can write you memory of the person who has passed away and place it in the box to be presented to the family."

The Oceana funeral home is the only locally owned and operated funeral home in Wyoming County. The funeral home's personal touch includes personal service, personal stories and personal choices for the family making the arrangements, according to Daniel Toler.

"We take pride in offering the personal touch," he said. "Whether it's Dad's antique car leading the funeral procession or Mom's handmade quilts displayed in the chapel or Granddad's worn and used Bible or the uniform of a brave officer, these are the choices that families make to make the service a celebration of life. When a loved one dies, memories become a source of strength and something to get us through the difficult days ahead. We believe that every life should be honored, remembered and celebrated."

For additional information about the Adam Toler Memorial Funeral Home, visit www.adamtolermemorialfuneralhome.com or call 682-4500.